My Name is Joy
‘My Name is Joy’ appeared, soft boiled, of its own volition in December ’09. On several occasions during the last 20 years I have tried to screen the video footage I shot in the fall of 1990 with Sharon Doubiago in Ashland, Oregon. Embarrassed by scenes I shot of myself, I couldn’t watch it. When ‘My Name is Joy’ hatched with only a little attention from me, I was bewildered and amused. I had never channeled a movie before.
The Book of Seeing with One’s Own Eyes by Poet Sharon Doubiago came to me on Lopez Island from a friend, summer, 1990. At 46 I was living alone and had been for four years. That summer I was preoccupied with the handful of ‘failed relationships’ that had become my personal history.
The Book of Seeing set my nerve endings on fire. The jacket cover photo of the author fanned the flames of my intention.
I did not know then, in my conscious mind, that I was in desperate need of help. The quest to find Sharon and get to know her, which is the story of ‘My Name is Joy’, came from a deep instinct to survive, to rid myself of a great weight. Sharon saved my life. I am not the smug white boy I was on the path to become. This movie isn’t really about that, though. That is the stickler. The movie ends before I have even a glimmer of what’s just happened.
The title ‘My Name is Joy’ came at the very end, after editing was completed. It is one of the final lines from Sharon’s poem ‘OEDIPUS DROWNED, The First and Last Love Poem’. “I am full of sorrow but my name is Joy.”
To say more before you view the movie would be too much.
Peace tom chamberlin